Time Was Time Is
by Babbles4Twillow
Summary: Post - "Chosen"  but also IN season 6 . Buffy is not the one who is given a wish. Willow is. She decides that she will use her wish to fix things.
1. The Wish

A/N: Here it is! Chapter 1 of Time Was. Time Is! Hope you like it!

Summary: Post - "Chosen" (but also IN season 6). Buffy is not the one who is given a wish. Willow is. She decides that she will use her wish to fix things.

Disclaimer: The characters are not mine and belong to their respective owners. I make no money from this, I'm just having a little fun.

Feedback: PLEASE

Enjoy

~Babbles~

* * *

><p>The group was standing on the edge of the chasm that had once been Sunnydale. They had made it through another apocalypse. They were happy for the first time in a long while. All except one of them.<p>

The red head stood, looking out at the destruction of her home and felt her heart breaking again. This was where she had loved. This is where her love rested.

"Willow, you coming?" Buffy asked as the group moved back towards the waiting bus.

"In a minute," Willow answered. She didn't want to leave. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. When she opened them, she blinked in confusion. Willow was no longer at the edge of the pit; she was standing in a white marbled room, facing a dark haired woman bathed in gentle light.

"Willow. Welcome," the woman said.

"Where am I?"

"Where does not matter. You are safe. You have done us a great service."

"Us?"

"The Powers that Be. You awakened the Slayers, allowing the First Evil to be stopped. Without you, the peace that we foresee would not come about. We would like to thank you. For your service, you will be granted one wish."

"A wish? Like anything?"

"Yes. We will give you some time to think about it. When you have come to a decision, we will know."

Willow didn't have time to reply. She blinked and her eyes opened back at the edge of the chasm. The redhead turned and went to the bus and her waiting friends.

There were so many things that she could wish for, but one thought kept pushing at her mind. Tara. But she couldn't do to Tara what they had done to Buffy, couldn't tear her from heaven. She looked over from her seat next to Kennedy to see Xander, looking sadly out of the window with one eye. Her best friend had lost someone too, his Anya. If only there was a way to go back and….

_That's it_, she thought, bouncing in her seat excitedly. _I'll go back in time and fix it. I'll go back to the night that I used the Lethe's Bramble, before I used it. I'll change it._

"I'll fix it," she mumbled as she felt a strange pull inside, like her insides were being stretched. She closed her eyes against the feeling. When the feeling stopped, she didn't open her eyes.

"It's not that easy," Tara said. Willow's eyes shot open. Tara was standing by the bed, removing pillows.

"Tara…"

"What, Will? You think you can just say sorry and it makes it all better? Well it doesn't."

Willow burst into tears. Tara was alive. She was safe, and whole. And alive.

"Willow?" Tara was concerned but refused to give in. This was a point she had to make, for both their sakes.

"I have something I need to tell you. Like a story. I know that you're mad and you're tired, but I need to get this out there. Will you listen?"

Tara sat on the bed. "I'll listen."

Willow moved to sit on the bed but changed direction, going over to the dresser and picking up a bowl of potpourri. She tossed the contents into the trash bin and then sat on the bed.

"It's not a happy story," Willow began. "There was a witch, and she started using magic for all the wrong reasons. Always trying to fix things and take the easy way. She didn't understand what it was doing to her or those she loved until it was too late. She got into a fight with her girlfriend, and violated her mind, making her forget. The next day, after a long day of dealing with a demon who makes everyone sing and dance until they combust, that witch found out that with her magic she had taken one her best friends from heaven. Her girlfriend found out about the forgetting spell and told the witch that if she didn't stop using magic so much she would leave. The witch agreed, but she didn't know then that she was addicted. She decided to do a spell to make her girlfriend and her best friend forget the things that were hurting them, but like all dark magic spells, something went wrong. When her girlfriend realized what happened, she left the witch, and the witch spiraled down further into her addiction." Willow took a deep breath, and then went on to describe the things that had happened after Tara left.

"So, after seeing that she had hurt her best friend's little sister, the witch started getting better. She went through withdrawals, of course, but eventually, she got through them. The witch's lover came back to her, and they reconciled. But something horrible happened. The witch's girlfriend and best friend got shot. Her best friend survived but her girlfriend died." Willow choked up at this, but refused to stop telling her story. "The witch went dark, hurting the people she loved in order to get her revenge. But the pain was too much to bear and she tried to destroy the world. Her other best friend stopped her just in time."

She continued the story, telling Tara all about the witch going to the coven and coming home to her friends. Willow tried to ignore the looks that the blonde was giving her as she told her about the First, and how it had been defeated. "And with the First gone, the Powers gave the witch a wish. She used that wish to go back in time, to stop herself from ever using the memory spell in the first place, to try and make things right with the woman she loved."

"You're right, that's not a happy story," Tara said. "Willow, I don't understand. Why did you tell me this?"

"You deserve to know what I am."

"What you are? Willow…the witch?"

"Me."

"Oh, Goddess. The story is true?"

"Yes. I wish it wasn't. I wish I could say I never did those things. And even though, at this point in time, I haven't, I still know in my heart and in my memories, what I did. I understand if you don't want me around, after what I just told you. I just had to stop myself from hurting you."

"Willow. I don't want you to go away." Tara opened her arms to the red head. "Come here, baby. You've been alone for some time now haven't you?"

"Ever since the day you died, I haven't felt whole."

"We'll get through this, Will." Tara sighed and they snuggled down into the bed. "Now what was this you said about there being a singing demon? Should we stop it from happening?"

"Well, I'd love to hear your song again, but I don't think I can deal with Anya's theories about bunnies. I'll call Xander in the morning and stop him."

"Xander? Really? Hmm…I guess that's not too surprising. Willow, what was my song?"

Willow fidgeted and began to sing softly, "I lived my life in shadow, never the sun on my face. It didn't seem so sad, though, I figured that was my place. Now I'm bathed in light…"

Feeling something inside, Tara began to sing the song with Willow, somehow knowing the words. After the song finished. Tara looked over at Willow, arching an eyebrow.

"Are you positive that Xander summons the demon in the morning?"

"Crap," Willow said. Tara agreed.


	2. Second Chance

A/N: Now that Sweet is here, don't you think that some of the songs will be different? And because Willow knows what's happened that it would happen differently? I'll only touch on a few things here, most of this day happens the same way it did in the episode.

I'm not so good with song writing but I hope you like it.

Please leave me a review. An author on here ( can't remember who) said that every time someone reads without reviewing, Angelus nails a puppy to a wall. Poor puppies.

(Smoky the Bears voice) "Only YOU can prevent writer's block!"

~Babbles~

* * *

><p>Willow woke with Tara in her arms. She felt safe and whole. She kissed the blonde awake.<p>

"Morning," Willow said.

"Mmm. Don't wanna," Tara said.

"Have to. We have to try and stop this from going overboard. I'll go check on Dawn."

Willow left the room, noticing the quiet in the house, and realized that everyone was gone already. So much for giving Dawn the talk she had planned on about stealing. She went back to the room and got ready. They left the house, hand in hand, walking to the Magic Box. Willow felt something strange pass through her and turned to Tara nervously.

The redhead started to sing softly.

"Just the feeling of your hand in mine

Reminds me that I'm alive

I haven't felt alive for so long

And now you know the worst of me

You know that I'm a monster caged

How can it be that you can love me?

There's magic in the air whenever you're near

You calm the beast inside me

My heart beats and I know that now I can heal

Just don't let go and we can heal."

Tara squeezed her love's hand in reassurance, telling Willow without words that she wouldn't let go, and picked up where Willow left off.

"There is no beast to cage

No monster inside, my love

Now there is only you and the love we share

Now that I know the worst of you

How can I not love you more?

I'm proud to love someone so strong

You had your weakness, we all have our times

But you pulled through and let your light shine

So bright I can see it in the darkest times

So bright that it makes the darkness hide."

They gave each other loving smiles and began to sing together.

"There is no beast to cage

No monster inside, my love

We take the magic as it comes

And let the light shine through to heal

Now there is only us and the love we share

The love we share."

Willow turned back towards the street and sand out one last line, "Reminding me that I'm alive."

They walked in silence, entering the store just as Buffy was singing out, "I've got a theory, it doesn't matter."

Unable to resist, they joined in the song, laughing as Xander stated, "See, disturbing."

Willow wasn't sure how much she should change about this day, knowing that some of the things that had happened, still needed to happen. Tara followed her lead of playing clueless, giving Willow a confused look. She leaned over and whispered to Tara, "There are things that happen today that need to happen."

And so they played along all day, letting things be said in song that their friends would normally never say. When Buffy sang about being torn from Heaven, Willow cried, just as she had the first time. After Sweet left, and the singing was done, the witches walked Dawn home. Willow tried to think of what to say, but then decided to just tell the younger girl how she felt.

"Dawnie?"

"Yeah?"

"You know that we love you, right?"

"Yeah…Of course I do."

"Then you should know that you don't have to steal to get our attention. We may be busy a lot, Dawnie, you know, saving the world and what not, but that doesn't mean that if you ask, we won't stop and give you some time. I know that we haven't been really good about it, but we'll do better, okay? But you have to stop acting out to get us to pay attention." Willow let a hand run softly down Dawn's hair.

"How did you know?" Dawn asked softly.

"People that love you the way we do notice these things," Tara said gently.

"Buffy didn't notice."

"She's not all here right now, Dawnie, but she will be," Willow told her.

"Promise?" Dawn asked as they walked through the front door.

"Promise," the witches said together. They said their goodnights and headed to bed.

* * *

><p>The next morning, Tara woke to an empty bed. The sheets where Willow had been were cold. Thinking that maybe she had slept in, Tara glanced at the clock and was surprised to find that it was barely past six in the morning. Willow never got up that early, at least not on her own, if she could help it. The blonde got out of bed and dressed quickly.<p>

She started searching the house, but couldn't find her lover anywhere. Deciding to double-check the kitchen for a note, she saw Willow sitting out in the backyard through the small window in the door. She let out a breath of relief and walked outside. Willow was sitting in the grass Indian style, with her eyes closed and the tips of her fingers gently probing the earth.

"Willow? What are you doing?"

The red head looked up with a smile. "Meditating."

"You've never meditated before."

Willow smirked. "Not yet. The coven taught me this. Showed me how to connect with the earth."

"I thought that you didn't do magic anymore?"

"I have to do magic. If I don't, I'll die, but I know how to control it now, and I know a source for my magic rather than feeding off the dark stuff."

Tara sat down next to Willow. "Oh. You know, I didn't think to talk to you about all that before."

"About what?"

"Connecting with the earth and drawing your energy from it."

"Well, if you want to join me, you can."

They closed their eyes and began feeling the earth together. As they meditated, Tara began thinking of the woman beside her. This Willow was different. Older, wiser, and she carried many more emotional scars than the Willow she had known just days ago. But it didn't matter, she was still her Willow. A Willow who had watched her love die, who had killed, and who had redeemed herself. Tara knew, somehow, that this Willow fought a daily battle with herself, trying to make things right, and she knew that somewhere inside, this Willow hated herself for the things she had done. Tara had to make sure that Willow knew she was loved, and resolved to help this Willow heal and love herself again.

"What are you thinking?" Willow asked. Tara opened her eyes to find the redhead staring at her.

"About how different you are."

"Is it a problem?" Tara shook her head. "Okay, do want to know what you said to me the night you came back?"

"Is it important?"

"It was to me. I think it fits somehow, with both situations, and I can understand if you want to get to know the new me better before moving on. You told me 'Things fall apart, they fall so hard…You can't ever put them back the way they were…There's so much to work through.. Trust has to build again, on both sides...you have to learn if you're even the same people you were, if you can fit in each other's lives, it's a long and important process and…can we just skip it? Can you just be kissing me now?'"

"Sounds like something I'd say," Tara laughed. She quickly became serious. "Was it hard? When left, I mean."

"Yeah, it was. I got really bad, and I changed Amy back, so it got worse, but after I hurt Dawn, I went cold turkey. That was the really hard part. You know, going through the withdrawals alone, and having everyone hate me. But that was better than them being afraid of me."

"I'm sorry, love," Tara said and pulled Willow into her arms. "We'll change it. You have a second chance now. A chance to make it right."

"Yeah," Willow breathed, reveling in the sound of Tara's heartbeat. "A chance to make it right." Willow stood and brushed grass from her pants.

"Where are you going?" Tara asked.

"I have a phone call to make." Willow held out a hand and Tara took it, following Willow into the house. She listened quietly as Willow called someone. "Hello? There's a group of men, well boys really, who are planning on stealing the diamond. The leader is Warren Mears. If you go after him, be careful, they have weapons. Yes. Yeah, I'm aware of that. No, believe me, all their plans are there in the basement. Okay, thank you." She hung up the phone.

"What are they going to do?"

"They're going to find the Trio and setup a surveillance team. That way, when they take the diamond, they can be put behind bars."

* * *

><p>Several days later, the witches were sitting on the couch together, smiling as they watched the news. Buffy walked out the front door with a cage, the rat inside squealing indignantly.<p>

The image of three young men in handcuffs being brought to police cars flashed across the screen. Willow's smile grew brighter. She snuggled up against her lover, feeling as if things were finally going to be made right.


	3. Not the Same

A/N: I am soooo sorry I haven't kept this updated! I hope you will forgive me! I've been busy working on something new on the kittenboard, and completing The Promise. I'll try and update this more often. OH! Btw, a little explanation about the last chapter, I don't think Willow thought about all the people that died, Willow tends to think more about what her "family" needs. Please drop me a review!

~Babbles~

* * *

><p>Tara knew that Willow was troubled; the redhead's eyes were not filled with the sparkles and laughter that they had been. She knew that it was selfish of her not to try and get Willow to talk more about it. Tara could tell that Willow had not told her everything, and the details that lay unspoken between them put a rolling uneasiness in her gut.<p>

Willow was not the only one who was troubled. Buffy was rarely ever home; when she was, she gave them all a blank stare. Xander and Anya were getting more and more nervous as their special day got closer. Dawn and Tara watched on, feeling helpless to bring their family back to what it had been before Glory.

At the moment, Tara and Dawn were sitting together in the living room, waiting for Buffy to come home. Willow had gotten tired and gone upstairs to sleep. They were starting to drift off when they were jolted awake simultaneously by Buffy coming through the door and a piercing scream from upstairs. The three women raced upstairs, ready to fight whatever was attacking Willow. The redhead was thrashing around on the bed, her skin covered in a thin sheen of cold sweat.

"What is it? What's got her?" Dawn asked in a panic.

"Nightmare," Buffy said, a hint of worry in her voice, the first sign of emotion she had shown since her song at The Bronze; Willow was her best friend. Although Willow had been the one to pull her from Heaven, she still loved her, and her best friend was gong through something. She hadn't even noticed. Tara stayed quiet, moving to Willow.

"Should we wake her?" Dawn asked.

"Isn't there a saying about how you're not supposed to wake someone up from a nightmare?" Buffy said uncertainly.

"That's sleepwalking," Tara answered, taking Willow into her arms and gently waking her. Willow started to sob uncontrollably, her whole body shaking. She started talking to Tara, but no one could make any sense of what she was saying.

"Tara, he was there. S-stalking me. With no skin. And my hair was black again. And…and you were gone," she called out. Suddenly, Tara realized that avoiding the details had only been causing more problems.

"What is she talking about?" Buffy asked. Willow jumped, she hadn't noticed the two Summers girls.

Willow controlled her breathing, "You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

"I'm the slayer remember?"

"And I'm a mystical key," Dawn added. "We're usually good with the whole 'the unbelievable is actually real' thing."

"I'm… I am not the same Willow that you knew a week ago," Willow tried to explain but couldn't find the right words. "In the future, I was granted a wish. I used my wish to come back and stop myself from doing things. Things that would make you hate me. Be afraid of me."

"Willow," Buffy laughed, "I can't imagine ever being afraid of you. Did you hit your head?"

"You were," Willow said quietly, looking into her best friend's eyes. Buffy could see the truth there, the sadness, and Willow's own fear.

"What happened?" The Summers asked together. They gave each other a glance and move to the bed to surround the witches.

Willow sighed, looking up at Tara who gave her an encouraging nod. "I got addicted to magic. Tara left me," Willow told them, robotic. "She came back after I had gotten really bad and then stopped using. Tara was murdered. I went all Bad Wicca, flayed a man alive, hurt you guys and tried to destroy the world. Xander stopped me. I went to England to join a coven and get better, but I had to come back to help fight an incredible evil. I woke the Slayer inside all of the potentials, Sunnydale was destroyed. I got a wish, and came back to now, before things got really bad with the magic, determined to change it."

"Wow," Buffy breathed. "Wait, did you say flayed?" She couldn't imagine her sweet best friend doing anything like what she described, but she could see that the redhead was telling the truth. She was not the same Willow they had known.

Willow winced, "Yes, flayed. I used magic to remove all of his skin. I know. I'm a murderer, a monster. I understand if you don't want me around." Willow could feel Tara's warm hands turning cold as she talked. She was no longer holding tight to the redhead, her grip was slack. Willow was afraid to look at her, yet she did, seeing the same look of horror that she saw on the others in the room. She fought tears as she quietly removed herself from Tara's arms and stood from the bed. "I'll just…grab some things and…then I'll go."

"Go? Where are you going?" Tara asked, snapped out of her thoughts. "Why are you leaving?"

"I can tell you guys don't want me here."

"Assume makes an ass out of you and me," Dawn said. "We don't want you to go. We're just sorry for the things you've gone through."

"What she said," Buffy added. She was experiencing feeling for the first time since being brought back; the situation that Willow described was horrible. She needed to get over her own problems and be there for her best friend. Willow had always been there for her, had always been the strong and sturdy one. It was Buffy's turn to be Willow's rock.

Willow turned to Tara, "And you?"

Tara took a deep breath. "I want you to stay. I told you that we would work through this. You're changed, but you're still my Willow. You're fighting to right your wrongs, and I have faith in you. I love you, my Willow."

"Willow," Buffy said, waiting for her best friend to meet her gaze. "We love you. We are a family, and we'll work together to get you through this. We've all made mistakes, and we need to make the best of what we have." Dawn laid a hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry."

Dawn looked at her sister in surprise, "Sorry for what?"

"Not being here. I've been here in body, but not in spirit. That's going to change."

"We'll all get through it," Tara said, holding her arms out for Willow, who moved back to the bed.

"Together," they all said in unison.


End file.
